Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!

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(917): i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see! http://tfl.nu/gbe5

Replies (7) Good night (4540) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt
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(818): View more from California

I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.

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(818): I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking. http://tfl.nu/j1uf

Replies (16) Good night (1202) Bad night (5133)
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(443): View more from Maryland

One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.

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(443): One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done. http://tfl.nu/o8ax

Replies (22) Good night (7175) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.

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(215): He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down. http://tfl.nu/lp4z

Replies (23) Good night (1668) Bad night (4940)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.

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(617): You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias. http://tfl.nu/4ikl

Replies (8) Good night (5797) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
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(813): View more from Florida

the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'

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(813): the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive' http://tfl.nu/7wwl

Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (2504) Order T-Shirt
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.

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(267): he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice. http://tfl.nu/aht5

Replies (14) Good night (5046) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening

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(604): I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening http://tfl.nu/c0v1

Replies (44) Good night (1450) Bad night (6860) Order T-Shirt
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(704): View more from North Carolina

The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.

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(704): The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night. http://tfl.nu/10ma

Replies (4) Good night (1209) Bad night (667)
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(518): View more from New York

The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.

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(518): The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke. http://tfl.nu/afl9

Replies (6) Good night (480) Bad night (2447) Order T-Shirt
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(626): View more from California

Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...

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(626): Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything... http://tfl.nu/rago

Replies (19) Good night (2773) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
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(585): View more from New York

I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one

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(585): I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one http://tfl.nu/3p0c

Replies (1) Good night (823) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt
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(503): View more from Oregon

So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.

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(503): So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper. http://tfl.nu/n7cq

Replies (3) Good night (578) Bad night (196) Order T-Shirt
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(330): View more from Ohio

i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense

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(330): i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense http://tfl.nu/4n80

Replies (0) Good night (281) Bad night (360) Order T-Shirt
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(503): View more from Oregon

That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...

(541): View more from Oregon

Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.

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(503): That's always how I imagine things at your apartment... (541): Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here. http://tfl.nu/wx1r

Replies (0) Good night (458) Bad night (112)

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