I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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