dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize