He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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