The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
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Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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