The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize