Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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