Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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