I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize