he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
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I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
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Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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