dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you had me at cake vodka
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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