I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
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