More tranny stories later!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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