Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize