we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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