i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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