the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
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We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
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had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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