why do cheetos always look like penises
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize