can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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