I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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