So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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