the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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