Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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