Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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