it was like having sex with a tree stump
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
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Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
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He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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