My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize