Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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