apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize