I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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