So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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