Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
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I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
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Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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