How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize