I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize