Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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