Kiss
Puke
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize