i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize