dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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