3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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