My Higher Power is John Stamos
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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