Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
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Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
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I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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