I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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