i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
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she pinky promised me she was 18
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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