I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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