WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
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i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
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There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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