i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize