we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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