Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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