I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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