He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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