Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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